Xunantunich

Xunantunich

We showed up at our hotel—which had been recommended by the management of our place on Ambergris Caye—at dusk, ready to clean up and rest. Unfortunately, the “hotel” turned out to be a novelty jungle camping and adventure experience: a tiny open-air “jungle cabana,” equipped with a hurricane lamp (which we promptly tipped over and smashed, then cut our fingers on trying to pick up) and outdoor showers. The friendly staff advised us to purchase flashlights for our protection when walking to and from our huts at night, as the grounds featured plentiful snakes, including several poisonous, aggressive varieties.

Mostly undaunted, we braved the outdoor showers (in the rain, in the dark), then trotted up to the main building for a delicious family-style dinner with various hearty outdoorsy types. On the way back, despite flashlight protection, a snake was stepped upon. Thankfully said snake was not one of the poisonous, aggressive varieties, and there were no fatalities on either side.

After lighting the replacement hurricane lamp and preparing for bed as quickly as possible, I started to unwind and enjoy the ambiance. Rustic and grubby, yes, but the dim yellow glow of the lamp was almost romantic, and the chirping of cicadas and birds and who knows what else was relaxing. Just as I was about to say to Kyle how nice this all was, really, something HEAVY and CRAWLY dropped onto my neck, and then skittered halfway down my back.

I’ll spare you the shrieking and flailing that ensued, and just tell you that it was a big, fat, enormous jungle cockroach. I will also tell you that when I pointed my anti-snake flashlight (once I got it back from Kyle, who lost his head and started whacking me with it when he saw the cockroach) up at the sloping palapa roof, I saw more of the big, beady, nasty things looking down at me, just waiting to go all paratrooper.

Now, having grown up in Asia, I am well used to the presence of creepy crawlies on walls and on floors. As an arachnophobic kid I perfected the art of sleeping encased in sheets with only a tiny breathing hole. But I am not used to the crawlies being hidden up in a dark, porous ceiling made of branches and leaves, waiting to drop on me. It was a very long, very sleepless night.

To my surprise, we were not, in fact, eaten by cockroaches. We emerged unscathed the next day at the crack of dawn to squeeze in a last-minute trip to Xunantunich before heading for the airport. Because we arrived right as the site opened, we had the whole amazing place to ourselves, complete with views into Guatemala and glimpses of resident toucans and a spider monkey. No cockroaches though, oh darn.

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